myself

How should I feel? How do I feel?
Did I reject my-self or my-self rejected me?
Where do I go now, what can I see?
Will I ever find you again, where should you be?
I question my-self why it happened to me?
Why me again, and again, but not you?

Was it love or more of a passion?
Was I the only one or there was a plenty?
I miss your smile and your silly accent.
I miss You. I miss you tired and early in the morning.
I miss you every evening and during the day.
Will I ever forget you, or will you loose me first?
Will I dance or sing with you?
Could we go on a boat trip, or fool all around.
Would you notice me sad and lonely, with who you'd be.

Did I changed a lot before I left you?
Did I come back the same or different?
Do I kiss good, do I hug enough,
Do I have the guts, to share my love with you.

If there's plenty of you, why am I stressed.
If there's plenty of me, that's why I'm stressed.
I will feel your skin, I will remember your smell,
Your gentle kisses on my neck,
They still linger there, and they will.

Your soft touch, your acted innocence,
Your health, tenderness and warmth.
I will have plenty of room for you,
Like I always did.

Te ou?

Te ou?

I catch my self thinking about you from time to time. Wondering if you are ok, where you are. 

You used to be all insane and pretty. Are you still like that? Where are you? Are you happy there? 

Do you go to the stairs, do you think of me? Are you mad at me? 

Show me a sign, tell me you are OK. 

Te ou? Kodėl mane pametei?

Come back to me I beg, untill we loose our life under our feet.

I miss you. oMG

Dreams

By then You would fall asleep, and I, 

I would follow Your dreams until I'd give my self to the night. That's it.

Days

My days are bending on its knees, but not for a prayer.

 It's my time to shine. 

drops

-it will be so sad.
-but you'll come back!
-j'espère..

Hold it

I'd count every breathe if I could, and I would loose the number at 13. Just so You know - I've been counting.

to do

to go back, to do it again. to be strong, not to give up.
to walk down the streets and smile. to walk. to smile.
to inspire, to love and not forget. to remember.

Voila

In Paris I learnt to love.
Comme ça.

I You

I
died every day
just waiting for
You

Scout

Slowly but surelly he ties a scoutish knot round his neck. He does it on purpose, not because he is ready to find him. It's to discover the map.

3 ways

Next to my dirty bed I see a knife, gun and a chair with the rope. 

3 exelent ways to go and find you. 

Train

He's kinda magical,

Everyone knows it.

But--

Only children can see it.

It doesn't matter

Fallen for a guy, fallen from the sky.

Halo round his head, feathers in our bed. 

It's killing me. 

But why? Did I deserve it? 

Tell me I will shine again, tell me we will blossom. 

40 days

Mon amour,

You know I didn't abandon you,
I never left you, you never stopped loving me.

I'm just taking a step back to make you happier for a moment, so I will meet you in 40 days, so we could fall in love again. But this time forever.

me

Miss

I will miss Paris, I miss you. 

Moon

I love you to the moon and back. Twice.

goodbye

I think You are right here, buddy. I think I must let you go, if you ask so.

Mon coeur, mon seul trésor,

I am letting you go. My hands are sweaty and shivering, I'm drowning in tears and fears. But I am letting you go. But before I let you go..
But tell me you love me, Buddy. Tell me you always did. Tell me you don't hate me. Tell me I will meet you again, and we'll fall in love. I keep catching my-self in a fight. Fight between heart and stone. I must let you go, but I can't, I try harder, and it's pulling me back.

/ Oh, God I love him so much! /

I am letting You go, I am setting You free, baby.

P.S. if you ever will feel scared don't hesitate, write me, I still care about you.
P.P.S. if you still don't want to contact me, at those scary times close your eyes and feel me holding you tight.

Goodbye, my love. I will always carry you forever in my heart warm and safe.
And if You ever decide to love me again,
I am here.
Where always were.

With loving heart,
your gold.

Cancer

I fell for boy, who fell for cancer. 

I fell inlove with THE boy, but he fell inlove with cancer.

Mr. Rude

I honestly miss you, and I am so upset I cannot be with you. I know that its your decision, you are a big boy, it's just I can't believe that big boy, who promised me to be strong and show how brave he can be, suddenly became scared and lonely. Buddy, please don't give up, please believe - if you don't see it, it means it does not exist. Remember it's a game we must win, you will win this, we will win.  Life wasn't easy for you, but it does not want you to give up. This is so big you are going through right now, I know you are scared, I am scared to. But I know that WE WERE MEANT TO START all this. Please, Buddy, I need you! I miss you, i wanna kiss you and hug you! I want you to be mad about my booker-friends, i want you to kick black drama queen's ass for me! Let's do it! Please, i beg you, my love. Btw, Mr.Rude person, if you are reading this pass it to Mason. Thanks. 

Anyhow, I want you to be strong, get your shit together. 

Hang in there honey, i LOVE YOU very much!

#paris

buddy,

I think I'm tired, I need to rest.
I need to get away. Again.

I can't eat, I can't sleep.
Neither I talk or smile.

I am tired of this rejection.
I am desperate about my future.

But I am here.

buddy,
forgive me and forgive us,
I was here.

questions

do you remember when we were kids,
all laughing and innocent. all scared of nothing,
nothing at all.
do you remember when we first Met,
and I tried to run away, just because you did not wait in the middle of the stairs,
so people could be mad At you.
do you remember our first fight
and first kiss.
Our first date next to the river.
talking about nothing at all.

do you remember us madly in love?
do you think it's over? will it ever be over?

do you think I could really be there for you,
and you could be there for me?

do you know why we never had Sex?
do you wanna have sex with me?

do you think it's stupid what I am doing right now?
do you mind?

do I ask to much questions, because I feel insecure?
do I ask anything at all?

I remember the days, the times and you. I remember you being all funny and loving, and crazy about me. I remember us drifting apart, and then reaching to each-Other again.

have you ever asked me Not to fall in love with you?

I am here just for you.

Cause it's YOU.

our

my gold,
my heart,
my everything I have ever felt.

stay with me. don't go.
if you're going take me with you.
take me somewhere safe and warm.
take me to you heart and soul.

Our love is eternal, it's meant to be this way.
But what do I know about eternity,
and yet who cares what people say.

My gold, my everything,
if it's meant to be this way,
it's just because
it's our way.

You

Hold me. I'm scared..

21

mon seul trésor, mon coeur,
my lost & found, my one and only.

It's been 21 days. Twenty-one days of looking deep into your gorgeous eyes, twenty-one days of hugs and cuddles. It's been twenty-one days of independent love, happiness and careless actions.
Exactly three weeks of loving you like crazy, three weeks of my blessings, prayers and hopes for you.
These days brought Paris back to life, inspired it, and put the city in the most beautiful chansons.
These days helped the ships and boats go easily down the river while we were holding our hands.

These magic days were filled with increasing love and care towards You, my Love.  There is nothing more I need to have since I have You. I am calm, safe and most importantly loved, and to be honest it's because You've waited for ME so long.

And here I am loving you with all my heart, soul and body. Loving you from the way you look at me, how you kiss me,  to - how you stand up for me if there is a reason. I love You very much.

/Aš tave beprotiškai myliu, mano vienintelis, nepakartojamas, metų toliuos pradingęs, bet rastas./

There is not a day, when I am not grateful for having You in my life. Yes, love sometimes make us do irrational things, sometimes it hurts, but the other times its warming and comforting. And I agree to accept all these gifts if it comes with You. I am counting on this relation-ship so bad, I don't want some stupid act / person / desire / pride / …… / to take it away from me.

 I love You so much, I could die for You, I love You so much I could stop listening to the music. I love You so much I can barely breath. /Hold me./ But most of all I want you to grow bigger. I want you to get out there and grow everyday, even if I couldn't make it, I want You to grow greater and greater, keeping me some place warm in Your heart, as a sweet, comforting memory.

I want you to know that You are the best anyone could have by their side.

Dear sweetheart, I thank You for being here with me.

I love You,
Please forgive me,
me.